And…I’m…back to this rotten state. ;(

Yes, I was already over the nerd. But it took only a week of him to frequently show up in the office, and I’m back to obsessing about him. Yes, a relapse. But I have more self-control now…or at least I hope. I’ve been fighting the urge to show him how hot I think he is or to text him cryptic messages. I hate this, hate this, hate this. I’m gonna fight this…I’m using all my mental strength to feel hatred towards him, and not…ugh…intense physical attraction.

Smells…so…goooood

Well, I did mention in my earlier entry (posted a few minutes ago) that I almost relapsed after seeing HIM earlier (haven’t seen him in WEEKS). What almost got me was his scent. He NEVER wears perfume (if he once did, he probably didn’t put on too much for people to notice). He smelled sooo yummy that it made me feel weird things deep inside me.

I couldn’t contain myself. So, even though I was being cold and all, I exclaimed “Ang bango mo naman!” (but I was scowling…and with the tone I used and with my facial expression, it seemed like I was saying “Ang baho mo naman!”)

So there…my quick story on my almost-relapse.

The post to end all DC posts

Let this be the last entry to my series of annoyingly stupid and pathetic posts regarding DC. I think my blog entries regarding him have done enough to contaminate my relatively sane (and mostly positive) blog page. But before I finally say goodbye (and really mean it), here’s my quick farewell-to-DC entry….

DC is bad for my health

photo from www.sickgirlspeaks.com

Finally, after days of feeling totally pregnant, I caved in to my mom’s request and visited the doctor. Although my mom knows it’s impossible for me to get pregnant, she’s still worried: I’m nauseous, I vomit every morning, and I barely eat anything. And that last symptom just scares her, considering that I have the BIGGEST appetite at home.

today is the International Stalkers’ Day

Well, it’s really not International Stalkers’ Day. I just made that up ‘coz I want to have an excuse to post this song for potential stalkers like me. Ha-ha.

I Will Possess Your Heart

By Death Cab for Cutie

How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me
It’s like a book elegantly bound
But in a language you can’t read just yet

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

There are days when outside your window
I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective
When we’ll be lovers, lovers at last

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart

You reject my advances and desperate pleas
I won’t let you let me down so easily
So easily – (Laban na ‘toooo! Hehe!)

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart

You-are-driving-me-frakkin’-nuts-you-just-don’t-know-it

Five words…I just need to hear these five words from you to end all these:

“PLEASE-STOP. I’M-NOT-INTERESTED.”

You probably think those five words are no longer necessary because your coldness is enough of an answer…but I really need to hear them from you.
I’m good with outright rejection, what I can’t handle, though, is your silence.

I’d rather have the humiliating truth spelled out to me…I’m good with rejections, don’t worry, my ego is resilient enough to handle that. But I can’t go through another night thinking of how great life would be if I were with you. I can’t go through another night thinking of the potential of You and Me.
As long as I don’t hear those five words from you, I’d still go on with this…holding on to that one grain of hope that maybe…just maybe…

So please, end this craziness for me.

"Please. End this for me. Please."

Relapse

I was telling the truth when I told you guys that I’ve moved on. It was the truth last Tuesday. Then he came in yesterday – his arrival was unexpected, because usually he’s only here in the office on Mondays.

Moving on…

I mentioned in my earlier entry (posted just hours ago) that I’d be off to a new adventure. Well, I wasn’t kidding. And I’m not trying to put up a facade to hide my previous humiliations with DC. I’m perfectly fine in exposing my weaknesses and embarrassments, plus I have this new inflated sense of self-worth to soften the blow. Kind of like a reliable airbag in a luxury vehicle…I hardly felt the impact.

A Series of Unfortunate(ly Stupid) Events

Chain-smoking retread

They say bad luck comes in threes. Well, with how much bad luck I’ve summoned in just a few weeks, I’m pretty sure there’s no truth to that expression. But then again, the things that happened weren’t really bad luck, they’re mostly created by my own stupidity. I’m like a dumber, third-world version of Bridget Jones.

Relief?

Earlier I overheard the boss telling DC to bring his girlfriend to the concert of the boss’s daughter. At least now I don’t have to have this inner struggle on whether I should REALLY like him or not, and on whether I should do something about that feeling or not. There’s no need for that inner struggle now.

I’m just confused why, instead of relief, there’s this sting when I heard my boss’s words “your girlfriend.”

But that’s OK, because I still have bigger things to worry about (family, money, bills, work, raket deadlines, etc.)… and besides, I still have ♥Edward♥.

Insobriety 2 (or how to get out of an awkward mess)

As I posted earlier, I’ll be discussing how I explained my (drunken) behavior the other night to my co-worker. I’ll just give you a transcription of the conversation.

Warning: This is pretty awkward, methinks.

Insobriety 1

"Should You Be Laughing at This?" by Hugleikur Dagsson

I have always hated the expression “in vino veritas.” I hate that despite its triteness, some people still use it as if it’s an original and intellectual thing to say. I hate that it soooo states the obvious: they might as well come out with an intelligent-sounding idiomatic expression that directly translates to “if you jump from a 30-storey building, you die.”

But who am I to argue about an age-old idiom, right?

So, why am I getting all riled up over one stupid wine adage?