:)

:)

I’m one love-related rejection and one raket-related misunderstanding away from another emotional meltdown.

No one knows this fact but this blog (a non-living entity) and the random set of readers who stumble upon this page everyday (living entities who doesn’t give a sh*t what I rant about –> win-win).

On “stage,” I smile and appear bubbly and playful and flirty and over-confident of myself. Deep down, I just really want to disappear. No one likes a depressed Lilith, after all. I give them what they want to see: Lilith who is excited about life, hyper, funny, sexy, unbelievably energetic, tough, with a hint of kontrabida feistiness. What they don’t know is I’m really praying for the “stage lights” to go out. For the darkness to swallow me whole.For nothingness to take me permanently.

Happy on the outside, devastated inside. It’s a cliche, I know. I have been reduced to one insignificant, trite expression. And I wonder why I’m still alive.

Posted by Lilith on July 19, 2010

http://lilithlives.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/716/