Lilith’s Monster

Yes, I’m back from our (almost) one-week stay in Catanduanes. I wanted to post pictures and give out chronicles about the trip, but without an internet connection in our house, it makes uploading photos a far too complicated task (and I can’t do it here in the office because this frakking PC can’t recognize USBs, digicams, or any technologies beyond the 1990s). That’s why my Catanduanes entries are gonna be delayed.

Right now, I’d like to focus my energies on a different topic. BOYS (eeeewwwww!). Last week (or was that two weeks ago) I finally decided vowed I’ll never get married or go into long-term relationships, EVER. I won’t give up on dating, no, because it’s always nice to hang out with someone you’re mutually attracted with. But I won’t go into anything serious either, no strings attached. Siguro if I’m dating someone tapos lumalim pa yung relationship, then I’m out the door. I’ve had it with serious relationships, feeling ko nakakulong ako…it’s giving me a serious case of claustrophobia. I’d rather grow old and spend my time with my family, my nephews and nieces, my friends, my career, and, of course, my restless feet (I’d be traveling, climbing mountains, exploring, etc. till my aging body can no longer do so).

But I’m making an exception in this single-for-life vow if this guy decides to settle down with me.

I’d definitely say yes, yes, yes. I won’t hesitate. I will let him own me and my time. But…

…this guy doesn’t really exist. He’s like Doc Frankenstein’s monster, a hodge-podge of appendages from different bodies. Let’s call my guy Adam (as what Shelley once referred to Doc Frankenstein’s creature). Adam is a combination of various qualities from different men. I’d like to emphasize that I’m not attracted to ALL of these men (am only attracted to the celebrities mentioned), so if you happen to find your name here just be flattered, ‘cuz you have some traits that I do admire. Pero ‘yun lang ‘yun, ha?

Again, folks, meet Adam. Adam has:

Trent Reznor’s (Nine Inch Nail’s vocalist) musical skills(in keyboards, guitars), bad-boy aura, his amaazing (and sooper seexy) voice, and his intensity. I’m a pretty intense and passionate woman…kailangan mala-Trent talaga sa intensity para kaya akong tapatan.

Johnny Depp’s wow factor…yung tipong lalapit pa lang manlalambot na ako.

Anthony Bourdain’s sarcasm and arrogance. I want my guy to be antipatiko, smart-ass, and so full of himself. Ayoko ng pa-humble or mejo mababa self-esteem. Mas mayabang, mas OK. It isn’t exactly a good quality in a guy, and a lot of people get pissed off pag mayabang ang tao, but not me. Oh, and it’d be great if my Adam is as tall as Bourdain too….at kung sing sarap din nya magluto si Bourdain.

Ami James’ (Miami Ink) sleeve tattoos. I looove tattoos. I have two tattoos and I plan to add some more (MORE, MORE!). It’d be a big turn-off if my guy doesn’t even have a tinge of ink-art in his skin. And it’d be ideal if he had sleeve tattoos. Super hot kaya yon…I think tattoos add character, especially if each tattoo detail tells a story about his life.

James McAvoy’s face and (flawless) skin. Another superficial trait, pero bakit ba? This is my fantasy guy and he has to be perfect…pati skin nya dapat perfect, hehe.

Paolo Luis Francisco’s intelligence and creativity. It’s a given that my guy has to be intelligent…pero kailangan he’s also oozing with creative talent. Aside from creating beautiful, shoegazing music (for Bagetsafonik),  Paolo here is into visual arts. I love “feeding” my eyes. Feeling ko if my guy has Paolo’s artistry (or at least his passion for visual arts like photography, paintings, films, etc.), lagi akong mabubusog visually. Like what I’ve said before, I’m restless. Not just my feet, but my mind is restless as well. If I’m constantly being given a visual overload, feeling ko nagta-travel na din ako even if I’m just sitting on a corner. Daig pa siguro nun ang LSD trip.

Soc’s (Vincent Palisoc) super strength. He’s only 22, pero grabe yung lakas nya. His muscles (and superhuman strength) aren’t products of the gym. He’s a mountain-climber and an adventure racer, and, from what I’ve heard, konti na lang matatapatan na nya si Leo Oracion (the first Pinoy to reach the peak of Mt. Everest). So, why not Leo Oracion? Bakit, kasing galing ba nya mag-skimboard si Soc. I’d like to emphasize though that I am NOT attracted to Soc. For frak’s sake, the kid is still in college. I just want his strength to complete my Adam.

Brian Afuang’s (our motoring editor) love and know-how of big bikes. Syempre dapat may big bike din sya. I always dreamed of dating someone who drives a big bike. And we’d be riding to provinces and different parts of Pinas. Just him, me, and his big bike. (oy, diko din crush si Brian, ha? may asawa na po yan) I prefer motorcycles over cars talaga. Not that I’ve driven one before, but there’s this (unexplainable) sense of freedom when you’re riding in one.

Ben and Alvin’s humor. Ben and Alvin are my co-adventurers. I already spent time with them skimboarding in Cavite, mountain-climbing in Mt. Batulao, and exploring Catanduanes (si Alvin lang kasama sa Catanduanes). Every time I’m with them, I just can’t stop laughing. Kasundo ko humor nila, at na-eenjoy ko yung batuhan namin ng pang-aasar. Parang sarcasm or baragan olympics, feeling ko dapat mas magaling ako sa kanila mag-barag, at ganun din ata feeling nila sakin. Pagalingan mang asar. Minsan parang napipikon na ako sa kanila, pero kunwari lang ‘yun. Bottomline is love ko pa din sila. (again, I’d like to emphasize na wala kaming attraction sa isa’t isa…wag naman po)

Soc and the rest of Nomads’ positive energy. Parang lahat sila pinaglihi sa Prozac. Must be because they listen so much to reggae music. Just peace, love, and a lot of positive vibes. Grabe kelangan ko nun.

And, on top of all these, he has to be loving and nurturing; faithful and loyal; he has to respect me for who I am; he has to love and respect my family, and my family loves and respects him as well; he should be totally in love with me and with who I am (including all my quirks and flaws); he must be mentally stable and would NEVER hurt me (physically, emotionally); he needs to be a family guy and he’d do anything for the family; he should be someone who will do everything to provide for my family; he has to know how to keep the fire burning kahit 50 years na kaming magkasama. And that’s it. My very, very basic needs, hehe.

Knowing that Adam doesn’t exist (and if he does exist, he won’t be proposing to me, he’d be proposing to someone as super as him), I’m fully prepared to stay single till the day I die. It has to be someone as amazing as my ideal guy prototype, and no one less.

Kasi ayoko naman talagang mag-settle down, hehe. Ayokong makulong pa ule sa isang relationship na laging may sinasaktan…at walang patutunguhan.